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Captain America from a Canadian Perspective

Since we’re all Canadians, most of my friends don’t quite believe me when I tell them Captain America is one of my absolute favourite superheroes. You get some Captain Amurica jokes, and a lot of Captain Canuck jokes, but mostly a lot of people just don’t understand why I would be interested in a hero so blatantly and plainly American in every way when I’m not American myself. I mean, I’ll be the first to complain about American politics and such, so why should I like the superhero that drapes himself in stars and stripes? This list, that’s why:

  1. His shield. Captain America sits nicely in the spot between heroes with weapons and those without, because of his shield. While a shield can be used offensively, it’s primary function is to defend. This makes Captain America a symbol for those weaker than himself, a protector and not an aggressor.
  2. His leadership. In times of pressure, Captain America is ready to keep a level head and give orders. He’s not one to abuse his authority, he’s using his skills to the best of his ability and in an effort to protect everyone.
  3. He’s a bad ass. He’ll punch you out, god damn it.
  4. He is a symbol for what America should be. There are a lot of things that I don’t like about modern America, but the ideals of America as I see them are all exemplified by Captain America. Like I said before, he is a protector of the weak and leads by good example. He fights for freedom and what is right, ideals that any person can be proud of, regardless of if they’re American or not.
  5. He fights for good, not for America. Essentially Captain America represents all those cheesy ideals of ‘good’ before he represents America as a country, America is just his method of expressing that ‘good.’ My point is in the Civil War he fought against the government and their registration act. This shows that his fight for freedom and what is right before blind patriotism.* I think this is the most important reason that Captain America can appeal to a non-American.

And that’s what it all boils down to: Captain America is an awesome superhero who represents perfect ideals in the United States that apply equally to other countries, regardless of their flags.

*The same reasoning makes Iron Man an interesting hero. The Civil War put Iron Man on the side of the government, which if you supported Captain America’s side for freedom could make him seem like the blind patriot, but in the same way that fighting the government proved Captain America’s idealism, joining the government proved Iron Man’s conviction to fight for what he thought was right. So, by fighting their supposed allies, CA and IM both proved they were the good guys. And that’s why The Civil War was awesome.

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Hey everyone, here’s the ultimate Nicolas Cage movie review website:


Review of the Day: Movies


I don’t often audibly squeal with excitement watching movies (unless it’s Star Wars or Star Trek), but after watching Avengers I declare myself an official teenage girl, because damn it I squealed like one.

Now, we all know that Joss Whedon has such a cult following that he rivals L. Ron Hubbard as creator of the weirdest modern religion, but sometimes you have to step back and ask, why? Why do people love Joss Whedon? Now, I’m no blind fan, but I don’t think I’ve ever been unhappy with a Whedon creation. Buffy, for example, was the perfect TV show in that it never overstepped its own limitations. It knew what it was supposed to be and just as importantly, it knew what it was able to be. It lied in the magic spot where Buffy’s mother could die and it was dramatic, but Xander could date an absolutely unbelievable former demon and that was also believable.

And now Avengers has done what so few other superhero movies can. It’s not shit. Yes, it’s however many hours of explosions and punches and guns, and no, it won’t make you question your beliefs or rethink your way of life, but it’s 100% fun, and last I checked, that’s 90% better than Captain America was (and 70% better than Thor was).

Avengers worked because the punches were directed at the bad guys, not the audience members’ intellects. The best example of this is the Hulk. This is a Hulk movie, we need to hear the phrase “Hulk smash” or people will be disappointed. You could do what previous movies have done and just make him say it for no apparent reason beyond that he has to, or you could actually work it into the script logically, like Captain America telling Hulk to smash. As a fan, and only a casual one at that, I want to cheer (or squeal?) when I recognize something and feel good that I get it. I don’t want to groan like I did when the Spiderman theme song was only included in the movie via a crazy street woman singing it.

So if you like explosions, Marvel superheroes, or Scarlett Johansson’s body, and don’t want your intellect to be insulted by your escapism, Avengers is the must see movie right now. Speaking of which, Scarlett Johansson’s body is also must see.


There is no way that I can list all the problems with Facebook without just writing a rant. Suffice it to say, Facebook is doing it’s absolute hardest to make Facebook a combination of everything ‘social media’ could possibly mean, a process which includes making Facebook less and less about me interacting with my friends.

I hate Facebook, but I especially hate that there is no alternative to Facebook, and I especially, really hate that I love Facebook.

Review of the Day

I like to think I’m fairly tech-savvy. I have a macbook and an iPod and some sort of Galaxy phone running android. I spend more time online than I do outside. The reported value of my pirated media collection probably equals the value of my physical possessions. I can’t build my own PC, but I can reset one, so I think I’m in the loop.

But goddamnit, I don’t understand twitter.


As far as I can tell, twitter is one half of what the media thinks ‘social media’ means. If it’s not Facebook, it’s twitter. If you can’t find a real story, you report on what twitter thought of your last news story. Apparently it’s the newest fastest way to get your news, supposedly faster than ‘traditional’ news outlets, but for the life of me I can’t figure out where I’d get news on twitter other than following CNN.

Most basically, twitter is about posting and reading snippets and ideas, but it’s popular because of the desire to gather more and more followers and the false idea that everyone following you is reading what you write. Kind of like how I delude myself into thinking that people will read my posts on tumblr because it says I have followers.

As far as I can tell, a proper tweet will have at least two of the following things.

  1. A hashtag that will never trend, like #blackwomeneverywhereyouturn (thank you Levar Burton for that one)
  2. A stupid hashtag that is trending (because then people will see you), like #InstantTurnOn
  3. @ing a celebrity in the hopes they will acknowledge you.
  4. Some use of ‘RT’

You know, maybe I am tech-savvy, and that’s why I don’t understand twitter. Maybe twitter is just inane as balls.

Review of the Day: Music


fun. - Some Nights

Some Nights is a pop power album. The singer has a very high voice. The album is famous for the third track, We Are Young, featuring Janelle Monae, but only if the word featuring implies she sings one line 4 times in only one verse.

It’s a very entertaining album. I’d call it fun, but my jokes aren’t that bad. I’d say that it’s about 50% great songs, and the rest are alright, but I don’t put them on while I’m in the shower. My enjoyment of this album track by track is explained by the following graph.


I would personally highly recommend tracks 2, 3 and 11 for any discerning indie punk pop enthusiast, such as I.

Review of the Day: Video Games


Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas came out in 2004 and has since been lovingly known as GTA, the one where you’re black. In case you have never played video games before, GTA games are all about running around a city and being the most violent criminal in ever, but it’s okay because if you can outrun the police for 5 minutes they give up, and for some reason they never investigate murders.

As a young, upper middle class white boy, GTA San Andreas utterly baffles me. I had to turn on subtitles to even understand what my ‘homies’ (as far as I can tell, this is their preferred term) were telling me to do. I felt uncomfortable after stealing a car and being asked if I would like to perform ‘pimping missions.’ Either I’m not the target audience or I’m really bad at escapism.

"Maybe he’s just not into crime video games" I hear you say? Nay, for The Godfather is perhaps my favourite video game of all time. It is all about running around a city and being the most violent criminal in ever, but the characters are mostly Italian American and they probably think of pinstripe suits when they hear the word ‘gangster’ instead of correcting my pronunciation (gangstuh). I like it because it’s romanticizing crime, but crime that is in the past that feels historic to me, which I much prefer to San Andreas’ modern criminal lifestyle, because that makes me sad with it’s cultural relevancy and whatnot.

I also think the controls, camera angles and user interface are much more intuitive and efficient in The Godfather, but this post is about like, racism man.


You can thank google images for this gem.

I spent the day at an expo in a city I don’t know. After we left, my friend and I drove around downtown for a while, looking for a restaurant that interested us. We circled a bit and ended up in a parking lot to take a break and look for a restaurant online on our phone. This was on 7th ave and 9th street. While we were hunched over our phones a lady knocked on our window and asked if we wanted her parking pass since it was paid off until tomorrow. “No thanks” I said “We’re just checking our phones” my friend said.

Big mistake. Little did we know our lives would then become a sitcom.

As we drove away from the parking lot, we finally decided on a restaurant we found online called Jonas’, an authentic Mom and Pop Hungarian joint. On our route towards it, we circled a bit, a little lost. At this point, we were starting to recognize landmarks. Eventually we found Jonas’. On the corner 7th ave and 9th street. Across from the parking lot.

Anyways, dinner was great, but it was time to find our lodging for the night, so I needed to find some wifi to look up the address of our couchsurfing host. Back to the car we went, and off we drove to the nearest Starbucks, which was two blocks away, back the way we’d just come. The address turned out to be on 6th ave and 9th street.

Why didn’t we take the fucking parking ticket?


…Am I a bad person for having Nick as my background?


Oops. Sorry, not sorry.

If you’re a bad person, it’s because of the low quality of that image.


(Source: zxcvbnmpoiuytrewqasdfghjkl, via fuckyeahnickcage)